Tuesday, July 10, 2012

7 Week Update

7 weeks. Here's the stats:

Surgery day: 250.4
Week 2: 232.1
Week 3: 228.7
Week 4: 226.1
Week 5.5: 219.7
Week 6: 218.5
Today: 215
1 week weight loss: 3.5 lbs
Total weight loss: 35.4 lbs

I'm on the emotional roller-coaster and hanging on for dear life :) Most days are good. But every few days I seem to be having a mini-meltdown. Down-in-the-dumps crying stuff. And I'm a lot less patient at work than I normally am (which probably isn't that patient either). To make matters worse, I'm dealing with some pretty deep feelings and emotions for someone that isn't interested in progressing into a relationship (and I am). Which is made more tough because of the deep friendship connection we have, and I'm reluctant to let go. Multiple 2-hour conversations about how we feel about each other, how he's not ready but doesn't want me to take the idea of us together off the table, etc. have not driven my emotional meltdowns, but have mixed with estrogen rushes from fat loss, emotions about the surgery, lack of personal support network, lack of food as a coping skill, calorie deficiency, and god-knows-what-else to create quite a cocktail of depressed moments.

After discussing at length with my therapist yesterday, she commented that she was really impressed with my ability to recognize those moments and take action rather than letting it pull me down too far. That made me feel better about things, but isn't necessarily much consolation when you're in the thick of it :) At any rate, all in all, I am doing well. Physically, I'm great. Emotionally, I'm on a roller-coaster but I can look from the outside and know (a) why and (b) change my behavior to address it - which makes it all a little easier to deal with. I also know it's not forever, and that it's only serving to remind me why this step was so important. To release me from the binds of food as a coping mechanism and force me to look harder at the life I'm living. Replacing food with working out, connecting with friends, and finding new hobbies looks awfully healthy to me...even if I'm looking at it with teary eyes now and again. Best, gastricsleeve4me


4 comments:

  1. Big hugs! I'm thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.

    I'm still pre-op but I have jumped through all the hoops but my last doctors visit. After that I wait on insurance approval and then I get a surgery date! So, I'll be about nine months behind you. You have provided so much help and I appreciate it so much.

    Hang in there and remember that you are worth the love and dedication of a wonderful person. Don't sell yourself short.

    Barbara

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    1. Thanks, Barbara. Exciting for you! Start dealing with any emotional food issues you have now :) And thanks for the encouraging words...I know intellectually I'm worth it, but have to get my heart to believe it too!

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  2. Great post! Thank you for sharing the emotional rollercoater. I am 6 weeks post-op and I have had my moments too. I have cried a few times but the best part is every time I cry I seem to lose a pound. I think some old stress is melting off with the fat. Keep sharing.

    http://vsgme.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks! Ha ha about crying and losing weight. If that's the case, I'm going to start watching sappy movies to get my cry on!

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